sigh

[elfy]

i'm just so bored.
there are so many things I should do, but I don't know where to start. or I don't feel like doing them now. i just want to do things now that i can not to or which are silly.
i want to play.
i want to listen to music.
i want to dream.
i want to draw, but i feel like i can not do so.
i want to eat, but i am too lazy to get something to eat.
i know there is nothing in the kitchen.
i don't know what my mother eats, but i never see something i like.
so i would have to buy myself.
but its sunday... no shop open.

i want to cuddle.
i want to be hold.
i want to sleep. but i'm to awake.
i want to write and i don't want it.
i want to finish my homepage, but i don't know where to go on.

i shouldn't want so much things, should i?
sigh.
damn, i'm really hungry.
shit, have to do the dishes.
i don't want (...) to stay up.
i want to dive into my dreams and get lost.

i sound horrible, i fear.
i feel guilty, that there are so many things i have to do and i don't get them done. this feeling makes me unable to do anything. then i feel even more guilty.
why can't i fight against this, if i know this clear whats going on?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Hi Elfy,

ich kenne das Gef?hl nur zu gut, da? man etwas machen will, aber durch die vielen Optionen die man hat, nicht wei?, was man wirklich machen soll. Am Ende macht man dann meistens gar nichts. Man macht sich blo? selber Vorw?rfe, wiso man seine Zeit nur so verschwendet. Klare Reiz?berflutung w?rde ich sagen. Was man dagegen machen kann? Es ist schwer etwas dagegen zu machen, finde ich. Wenn man dar?ber nachdenkt, dann ist es schon klar was man dagegen zu machen hat, nur ist es einem in dem Moment meist nicht wirklich m?glich. Ein wirklich beschissenes Gef?hl. Musik kann einem da manchmal helfen. Nimm deine Lieblings CD, leg dich hin, schlie?e die augen, versuche an nichts mehr zu denken, sondern dich mit aller dir m?glicher Konzentration auf die Musik zu h?ren. Du mu?t die Gedanken v?llig abschalten und dich ganz der Musik hingeben. Am Besten sollte es ruhige Musik sein, nichts aggressives. Danach sollte wieder die Energie vorhanden sein, um das zu tun, was zu tun ist, was man tun will.
Ich hoffe wirklich, da? es Dir morgen wieder besser geht.


Bernd

[september-.livejournal.com]

i like the way you express yourself with words, i feel the same way..