sigh

[elfy]

i'm just so bored.
there are so many things I should do, but I don't know where to start. or I don't feel like doing them now. i just want to do things now that i can not to or which are silly.
i want to play.
i want to listen to music.
i want to dream.
i want to draw, but i feel like i can not do so.
i want to eat, but i am too lazy to get something to eat.
i know there is nothing in the kitchen.
i don't know what my mother eats, but i never see something i like.
so i would have to buy myself.
but its sunday... no shop open.

i want to cuddle.
i want to be hold.
i want to sleep. but i'm to awake.
i want to write and i don't want it.
i want to finish my homepage, but i don't know where to go on.

i shouldn't want so much things, should i?
sigh.
damn, i'm really hungry.
shit, have to do the dishes.
i don't want (...) to stay up.
i want to dive into my dreams and get lost.

i sound horrible, i fear.
i feel guilty, that there are so many things i have to do and i don't get them done. this feeling makes me unable to do anything. then i feel even more guilty.
why can't i fight against this, if i know this clear whats going on?