Black fingernails
Jan. 8th, 2003 12:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
elfyI want to write in german and english all the time... but that means even more time effort and again it is so late that I am near the point of not writing anything. Writing in german means taking the opionen from quite some of the people on my list to understand my entry, writing in english often means bad grammar, very limited vokabulary and therefor meaningful entries are seldom.
ah, anyway. i didn't plan to write that, it just came to my mind.
i'm tired, but at least not cold anymore. fuchs made me a hot choclate a while ago and that was so nice of her. i love living in a... WG. in a shared appartment or whatever you call it in english....
strange mood today... kind of... don't know. i wasn't feeling that well, maybe i'm exhausted from sleeping not enough the last days. but the strange feeling came from trying to surpress that as much as possible. not for the outside (this is a thing i do in genereal, hiding bad moods from others), but surpressing it inside of me. as a result i felt kind of like in a vacuum...
the whole evening i watched tv... now i'm so sleepy... but there were kinda some things i wanted to do, again i didn't do them. just caled my father... he still didn't transfer any money, which makes me really sad. my bank account looks horrible, also because i calculated with the money he wanted to give me. i'll not starve, but it looks ugly. it'll be better in 2 or 3 month, but right now... *sigh* anyway.
work is okay right now. i'm not bored and it's not too much.
but i think i'm already sure i don't want to sty there after my apprentice-ship. it's nice, but... i don't now. i often feel as if i don't belong to these people. i am a stranger, yes. not around my friends, but too people like my co-workers, because they are... so normal. don't know. i have no clue if it will be better anywhere else. if not... hm, not sure. it's not that i don't like it there, i think it's okay, but just... just... the connection isn't there.
there is so much to tell in my head, like always. also kind of very private things, which i'd also like to talk about, just because they make me happy or... thoughtful. but then, it is all a big mess right now.
a thousand comments wait for me to be answered... thanks for all the nice wishes to my 2nd birthday at livejourna :) i hope nobody minds that i don't answer to these comments personally.
sleep well *hugs to all*
ah, anyway. i didn't plan to write that, it just came to my mind.
i'm tired, but at least not cold anymore. fuchs made me a hot choclate a while ago and that was so nice of her. i love living in a... WG. in a shared appartment or whatever you call it in english....
strange mood today... kind of... don't know. i wasn't feeling that well, maybe i'm exhausted from sleeping not enough the last days. but the strange feeling came from trying to surpress that as much as possible. not for the outside (this is a thing i do in genereal, hiding bad moods from others), but surpressing it inside of me. as a result i felt kind of like in a vacuum...
the whole evening i watched tv... now i'm so sleepy... but there were kinda some things i wanted to do, again i didn't do them. just caled my father... he still didn't transfer any money, which makes me really sad. my bank account looks horrible, also because i calculated with the money he wanted to give me. i'll not starve, but it looks ugly. it'll be better in 2 or 3 month, but right now... *sigh* anyway.
work is okay right now. i'm not bored and it's not too much.
but i think i'm already sure i don't want to sty there after my apprentice-ship. it's nice, but... i don't now. i often feel as if i don't belong to these people. i am a stranger, yes. not around my friends, but too people like my co-workers, because they are... so normal. don't know. i have no clue if it will be better anywhere else. if not... hm, not sure. it's not that i don't like it there, i think it's okay, but just... just... the connection isn't there.
there is so much to tell in my head, like always. also kind of very private things, which i'd also like to talk about, just because they make me happy or... thoughtful. but then, it is all a big mess right now.
a thousand comments wait for me to be answered... thanks for all the nice wishes to my 2nd birthday at livejourna :) i hope nobody minds that i don't answer to these comments personally.
sleep well *hugs to all*