Milkyway

I sit on the balcony at my mothers and hear the crickets chirr and I can see the milkyway. The air is still warm from the day. It's wonderful. I wish I had this more often.

I think about life so much these days. How everything is connected and how amazing that is and how scary. I read about the wonderous world of atoms and quarks and on the other hand there are the stars, galaxies far away, places we will probably never reach. In between all this evolution offered us a chance to evolve and here we are and it makes me nearly crazy to think about it. It is so impossible to imagine just the human race... at least to me it sometimes is so overwhelming to realize and to remember, yes, every person you meet, every person you see on the street or just on tv has his own story, lived through a few years or decades and has a history of her own which is the reason for this persons behaviour, emotions and actions. So many people! And they are all connected. I know there are many books and movies about that theme, but still,... if you take a moment and just try to think about that, maybe to imagine yourself being that person... or that one... or that one over there... is after a while so intense and nearly unbearable at the same time. At least to me. Because imagining this also means to wonder why people hurt other people, why people kill other people. It just seems so unlogical. Shouldn't everybody see, yes, this is your life, maybe, probably, the only life you will have. And so it is for everybody else. The time you waste is time you lost forever. The life someone takes is a life lost forever.
These thoughts are important, I think, but at the same time they are so damn scary. Because it makes me question myself and my actions and how I spend my time (and how I don't) and makes me wonder what how and if I can change. Ah well... I'll just look at the stars some more. Eventually I'll find something to deal with all these thoughts. :)