Thoughts about suicide

Very scary. I found a diary today, online, but not at livejournal.
There was an entry nearly every day, since it was stated a few days after christmas 2000. At the 3rd of january it ended. She said, she wants to use the knife she always uses to cut herself. So badly. And that her life means nothing.
It's the last entry.
Two weeks ago.
I wrote her, asking if everything ok.

Its a while ago I really thought about suicide myself. But I never tried it. Too much fear. I fear the pain. But even more I fear everything is over, afterwards. Here I am still able to dream, you know? I believe... no, I *hope* after death there'll be a new life. I think there were some before. I believe they are the reasons for wishes you don't know from where, for some of you behaviour, for flavors.

Sorry for my bad english, btw. Maybe I should write in german. But I fear, it wouldn't be much better.