elfy: (sad)
[personal profile] elfy
I'm very tired.
And it's only 23.00...
Was in the cinema with Barbara, saw Secretary with her. She liked it as well, thats nice.
Miss my boy. He wrote me a sweet textmessage last night, didn't come around to reply to it until now, will so before I sleep.

Hm, LJ is acting weird.

I need holidays. Long, long holidays. Like... half a year or so. Just (paid!!!) doing nothing. That'd be fine.
I dreamt about sex two times in the last four/five days. But in both cases I woke up halfway, not sure, but I can only remember parts of it.

And I just had a highly interessting/amusing/funny talk with seefuchs. *giggles*

There are so many questions in my head. So many things I think about. Many repeat themselves again and again. I wonder which way I will die and when. It seems to get harder everyday to understand ignorant people. Or why someone smokes. I just don't get it why someone would willingly spend money on something that smells so bad, doesn't taste well and makes you ill. In a rather short time I noticed two times that I am more... hm, tolerant towards people generally not liked buy others. Others make fun of them and I think it's just mean. Worst thing is when someone tries to convince me why it's natural to make fun of someone like 'these people'.
If I analyse myself too much? Or not enough? I think about my own behavior very much. I try to explain to myself why I do this and that. From that comes my need to explain myself to others as well all the time. I am sure I annoy quite sometimes with that.
(my knee hurts. and my hips. just this stinging pain. gna. f*ck.)
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November 2011

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