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Jul. 6th, 2001 10:59 ami have to clean up here in a few minutes. i don't want it all looking messed up, when my mother comes back.
i still have to do so much things. yesterday i phoned this guy from the shop i was working in, that i am quitting, but he wasen't there, so i just spoke on his answering machine.
dirk wrote me again and i want to answer his mail, but not *now*, because then i'll maybe not have enough time to clean up. after that, if time is left, before my bf picks me up.
yesterday zorn and i made an instant rpg, because she felt like she wnted to hit someone (bad mood) and i don't wanted to risk that erin or damon get in trouble. it really wasn't hard or anything in the end.
my head is so full.
i wish my father would pay. i could pay back my depts and then my mother maybe wouldn't be constantly telling me to get a job. sure, i need one. i also want one. ok, i also want to just do what i want all day.
i don't like when people tell me what i have or should do over and over again. i know that. and it doesn't help, to tell me again and again.
sylke and tjulan are angry with me, they don't talk to me anymore right now. makes me sad, i didn't want to offend them or anything. all just because i was invisible for them for a day (and they found out i was on), because i was on even if said i wasn't (because then sylke uses my login and password, because hers doesn't work. i mean, she uses my flatrate and so she tried and tried and it didn't work) and because i didn't answer their emails (rpg) right when i got them, but i do so with zorns.
yesterday evening i wanted to get mails. to get comments just on something.
the pic i posted in the elfwood community for example, but noone even said hi.
i don't want myself looking for attention this much. i want to be satisfied with the attention i get (from my bf for example). i don't want to be jealous. i don't want to be sad because i am not the most important person to some others. i don't want to be lazy. i don't want to just sit here.
why is it so hard so just *do* something?
i still have to do so much things. yesterday i phoned this guy from the shop i was working in, that i am quitting, but he wasen't there, so i just spoke on his answering machine.
dirk wrote me again and i want to answer his mail, but not *now*, because then i'll maybe not have enough time to clean up. after that, if time is left, before my bf picks me up.
yesterday zorn and i made an instant rpg, because she felt like she wnted to hit someone (bad mood) and i don't wanted to risk that erin or damon get in trouble. it really wasn't hard or anything in the end.
my head is so full.
i wish my father would pay. i could pay back my depts and then my mother maybe wouldn't be constantly telling me to get a job. sure, i need one. i also want one. ok, i also want to just do what i want all day.
i don't like when people tell me what i have or should do over and over again. i know that. and it doesn't help, to tell me again and again.
sylke and tjulan are angry with me, they don't talk to me anymore right now. makes me sad, i didn't want to offend them or anything. all just because i was invisible for them for a day (and they found out i was on), because i was on even if said i wasn't (because then sylke uses my login and password, because hers doesn't work. i mean, she uses my flatrate and so she tried and tried and it didn't work) and because i didn't answer their emails (rpg) right when i got them, but i do so with zorns.
yesterday evening i wanted to get mails. to get comments just on something.
the pic i posted in the elfwood community for example, but noone even said hi.
i don't want myself looking for attention this much. i want to be satisfied with the attention i get (from my bf for example). i don't want to be jealous. i don't want to be sad because i am not the most important person to some others. i don't want to be lazy. i don't want to just sit here.
why is it so hard so just *do* something?